Simon says, “Pat your head”.
We pat our heads.
Jesus says, “Go therefore and make disciples…”
We memorize that verse.
It’s been a while now and I still miss the way she said my name.
I didn’t know my bones could ache
foreverfor so long.
They say there’s beauty in sadness but I don’t think so (at least not like this). When it’s 3am and alcohol is the only thing that helps me sleep.
They didn’t warn me that heartache doesn’t always have someone to blame. Sometimes it’s no one’s fault
(it’s probably all mine).
I found her sweater the other day and it still smells like her and that Spring we spent telling each other we’d be forever.
I didn’t really think about how forever could end.
She used to call me beautiful and look at me with eyes that meant it. Now I just don’t know how I’m supposed to hear that word from anyone else.
I’m somewhere caught between moving on and holding on and not knowing which one I can handle the most.
I feel messy and uneasy and I don’t understand how one person with pretty eyes can destroy an empire inside me just by walking away.
Her lips tasted like air after rain and these days all I do is think about the way they felt between my thighs.
My pillow isn’t her and the song on the radio isn’t ours. I sit next to a girl in class but we can’t talk for hours.
Where do I go when a lover and a friend becomes a memory and a dead end?
I saw her by the escalators last week, I smiled at her and she looked the other way. I felt my heart splinter all over again.
Sometimes I write her letters thinking maybe she’ll write back.
She never does.
you didn’t love her.
you just didn’t want to be alone.
or maybe, she was just good for your ego.
or, or maybe she just made you feel better about your miserable life.
but you didn’t love her,
because you don’t destroy people you love.
|Dad:||hey I'm gonna go grocery shopping do you need anything?|
|Me:||contemplates wether or not I should ask him to get me pads since I need them desperately|
|Dad:||anything at all?|
|Me:||uh... Yeah.... Can you get me some pads|
|Me:||Are you serious? Wouldn't you be embarrassed?|
|Dad:||Natalie, I'm a 56 year old man who has been buying pads for your mother for over 20 years. No I'm not embarrassed.|
|Me:||But I thought guys get squirmish when we ask them to buy this stuff for us|
|Dad:||boys are squirmish. Men will step out and buy you as many pads and tampons as you need. A man will understand that you cannot control your cycle and that this is a natural bodily process. So, if you ever find a guy who's too embarrassed to buy you pad just bleed on everything he owns.|
AU The Fault In Our Stars where Hazel Grace succumbs to the cancer and dies and in the last scene all you see is Augustus standing out side with a cigarette between his lips and a hand slowly reaching up to light it.
HOW ABOUT NO
WOW I DIDNT KNOW SOMETHING COULD BE WORSE THAN THE ACTUAL ENDING NOPE BYE